To Be Loved
by Princess HiNaMi
Summary: "I gasped hard as I felt all the air leave me. I tried to move but I couldn't. I slowly turned my head to look at his head where blood was gurgling out painting the white floor red." When the world turns against you and your life takes a downhill trip, sometimes all you need is to be loved...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! How are you doing? Yay! I'm posting a new fic! :)**** This is my first multi-chapter and I would like to dedicate it to someone so special. She is an excellent beta and an amazing best friend anyone would kill to have. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. So this dedication goes to ****_WeirdButUnique_****.**

**I love this story a lot and so is my best friend. So I hope you all would love this as much as I do. :)****  
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**So Enjoy! :)****  
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**P.S. Show some love to the review button which is down there! ;)**

**Chapter 1**

_Kendall's POV_

"Hey," I said slightly slapping my best friend, Logan, in the back and sitting in front of him on our usual table in the cafeteria. Logan and I have always eaten alone but rarely Camille, Logan's girlfriend, joined us.

"Hey," I could see the worry in his eyes as he lifted his head from his lunch. I was gone for the whole morning and he had his reasons to worry.

"What did he say?" he asked without taking his eyes off me, like I would disappear into thin air if he did.

"He cut off one more month," I said looking at my lunch. I could never lie to a person's face.

"What?!" he gasped and I felt guilty for lying.

I raised my head to look at him but he had already zoned out. He tended to think a lot these days and I don't blame him. If I were in his situation, I would do the same.

I nudged him and said, "Dude, relax! I was just kidding." I smiled a bit to ease the tension.

He looked at me. His eyes were dark with anger and I prepared myself for a good hearing. Logan is one of the most innocent people you can find. He rarely got angry but when he did, he was a devil. Or a dragon. Maybe both combined.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Oh, and he swears only when he was angry. "This is not something you can joke about." I could say that he was still getting adjusted to the fact.

"Hey, calm down! Anyway it's gonna happen in a few more months. A few days won't make a difference." I tried to reason. To be honest, I've had enough of this. I couldn't bear the pain I was causing the people around me. Sometimes I wanted this to be over but sometimes all I wanted was it to just go away, just disappear like it wasn't there in the first place.

"You don't know how a few days are important to me Kendall. Every second that pass is important to me right now." He breathed fast to calm himself, something he did every time he was extremely angry.

The guilt that built up within me was hard to bear. I could see the pain in his eyes and knowing I was the one who was causing it was killing me.

"Oh look, Logie bear is steaming." A disgusting voice, followed by a few chuckles, floated into my ears. I could hear his heavy footsteps, which was followed by some more, approaching us but I didn't bother to look up. He was the only person in this whole universe that I hated with all my being. I didn't hate his minions though cause they would be nothing without him.

Logan hated it when someone else called him Logie bear. Only his mother called him that and he loved his mother for it.

He reached our table and placed his smelly foot on the chair next to me, sitting on the table. Something he loved to do a lot. Maybe he thought that sitting on the table would make him King or something. But to me he was a shameless beggar.

"What made you so angry Logie bear? Did Kendork here say no to you?" he asked gesturing towards me.

Now, this threw me over the edge. It's true that I was gay but Logan was perfectly straight. He also has a girlfriend. I didn't want them falsely accusing my best friend.

"Go fuck yourself James," I growled turning to him.

He fake laughed and said, "Don't be concerned about me Kendork. Give that satisfaction to my friend over here." This time he gestured to Logan.

I could feel my face heat up and burn with anger. Since a small age I had anger management issues. So people who know me know not to mess with me. But this asshole here needed a lesson.

"Just mind your own business asshole. Or else…" I stopped thinking a good comeback. But he beat me to it saying "Or else what? Beat me? Kill me? Can you at least hold a knife properly?" he asked and the laugh of his minions that followed echoed throughout the cafeteria, drawing the attention of every being present there. Even the school cat turned his head towards us.

That was it. He had pushed me far enough that I decided it was time to give him a piece of my mind. I clenched my fist and hit him directly on the jaw putting more pressure than necessary. When I took my hand away both my knuckles and his bottom lip were bleeding. A satisfied smile crept into my lips. It felt so good to finally hit him. Something I had wanted to do since the day he started bullying me. So basically since the day I met him or since the day I transferred to this school.

Before he could process what had just happened the bell rang. I was actually surprised that I didn't get a return beating immediately.

"This isn't over Knight," He spat before leaving the cafeteria, his minions tagging along.

"Are you okay?" asked Logan softly turning my hand over to inspect the knuckles.

"Thanks for the support back there," I said sarcastically before dumping my lunch in the garbage and heading towards the washroom. I needed to clean the wounds.

I could hear Logan behind me as I entered the washroom. He was always like that. Never stood up for himself. But he had other means of keeping them off his back, like doing their homework. The thing is, he didn't mind doing it cause he's the typical nerd you meet every day.

I, on the other hand got bullied a lot, sometimes mostly because of my anger management issues. I didn't mind going home with a few bruises, but it worried my mom a lot. I hated worrying her. She also got called to school often cause of my frequent fights. She never scolded or punished me. She always blamed it on my dad saying that I was a lot like him which I really hated as I never wanted to be like him.

I opened the tap and held my hand, flinching a little as the cold water hit the wound. It burned a little, but I was used to it considering the millions of wounds I've got over the years.

Logan took a tissue and started wiping my hands. He took a small box out of his backpack which he carried practically everywhere.

"You should stop messing with him," He said softly, almost a whisper, like he was afraid that it would offend me. He was right.

"What do you want me to do then? Just stand there until he walks all over me?" I whisper yelled cause I didn't want anyone to overhear us and we didn't know if anyone was in the stalls. Most probably no one cause all of them might be in classes right now, which reminded me that we were both going to be late.

Logan took out a tube from the box, his first aid kit, and applied it over my knuckles. It's a good thing that he's studying medicine. It comes in handy in situations like this.

"Still today was too much Kendall. You are lucky that he didn't hit you back."

"I can't just sit there and listen to him insulting you like that."

"I know," he smiled but it faded as he continued. "What if James brings his parents into this? You know they can kick you out within seconds."

"I don't mind that. Anyway I have to stop school this month or the next. Doc said it'll be too tiring."

Logan didn't reply. Every time, he chose to remain silent when it came to this topic.

After he bandaged my hand we both went to our lockers and hurried to our classes. We were already ten minutes late.

_James' POV_

I stared at his seat which was currently empty. I wondered what he must be doing that made him late to class. Normally he would come before me. Every day I saw him in the front row when I entered, but today he wasn't here.

History was the most boring class I ever had. It took all my will power to stay awake during this.

I turned my head towards Carlos, my best bud, who was already snoring in his chair. Seeing that, a yawn escaped my lips. I didn't want to fall asleep. It would break my perfect record and if my parents got to know about it, I'd be dead.

So, I looked out of the window and turned my attention to what was happening outside. Outside was a park, filled with so many huge shady trees. It was both calm and quiet. Nobody was there as these were working hours. I bet it would be filled in the evenings.

Absent mindedly I touched my lip, only to feel the plaster that was put there minutes ago by Jo, my girlfriend. My calm mind started to get filled with anger. How dare he do such a thing? No one in this school had been fearless enough to lift a hand against me. Yet he had the guts to punch me right on my face. Anger started to boil within me and he should consider himself lucky that he wasn't here when I came into the class and that the bell rang during lunch. Or else it would have been the end of him.

My chain of thoughts was disturbed by his damned voice. My head spun towards the door. He was there excusing the teacher. Seeing him made my anger to rise. My eyes traced down to his hands, stopping at his right hand. It was well bandaged. Pros of having a future doctor as best friend. He moved to his desk and sat down.

Again I turned my head to look outside the window. Seeing him would only make my blood to boil. I needed to take revenge for the embarrassment he caused. I needed to beat him so bad, flatten his huge nose and wipe that smirk off of his face.

_Kendall's POV_

When the last bell rang I was overjoyed as usual. If I had a choice I would have stayed at home rather than coming to school. I despised school that much.

I met Logan and Camille near my locker as usual. That was the place I say goodbye to the duo. I put unnecessary books into the locker and hanged my backpack on my left shoulder.

"So guys, I'll see you tomorrow," I said cheerfully cause this was my favorite time of the day.

"No Kendall, you're going home with me today," said Logan sternly grabbing my arm, like I would run away if he didn't. Again I don't blame him cause I had done that a lot.

"What? No! Why?"

"What if he sees you?"

"He won't see me. I promise." I looked directly into his eyes pleading. This was the only thing in my hell of a life that I looked forward to.

He sighed deeply and let go of my hand. "Be careful," he said before leaving with Camille hand in hand.

I stood there, watching them for a moment. They were a cute couple and the love they have was indescribable. There were so many times I wished that I also had a love like that but with my time limit I let go of all the hopes.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and slowly made my way towards the rink leaving the school behind. I was so glad to get out of that hell of a place. Every day after school I would go to the rink and watch the ice hockey players practice. I used to play hockey before we moved here, at my last school. The doctor said to stop playing cause it would only weaken me. Like that, I gave up the most valuable thing in my life. After we moved here, Minnesota, it became a habit of mine to watch others do what I love. It was the only thing that made me feel alive.

I reached the rink and carefully opened the front door so as to not to make any noise and entered. Nobody, except Logan, knew I came here after school every day. Not even the hockey players. I crept quietly behind a few benches and came to my usual hiding place. I had a good view from here. I looked before me to see James, some of his minions and a few other people playing a practice match.

James was the captain of our school's hockey team, something about him I envy too much. It was my dream to become a professional hockey player someday but now it will remain a dream.

James was the reason that I had to hide. If he knew I was coming here, I was so positive that he would do something to make sure that I can't come within ten yards of the rink. I couldn't risk that.

The match was really tough. The team in which that asshole was was wining. Although I hate him to the eternal, I had to admit that he was the best player out there. If his team could score one more goal they could easily win the match.

I was so caught up in the match that I didn't notice my phone ringing. Luck wasn't on my side today as I forgot to put it on silent. The sound started to reverberate throughout the rink making the players to stop the match. It was only then I realized that it was my phone that was ringing. Most probably it was Katie, my little sister, calling. I knew Logan wouldn't call cause he knew I was here. I took the phone out and pressed the disconnect button without even looking at the caller ID. I ducked my head more to hide as much as possible.

"Who's there?" I heard James' voice.

Suddenly my heart beat accelerated and my palms started to become sweaty. Small droplets of sweat started forming on my forehead. I couldn't let them know I was here. They would take this away from me. I started to panic. It was so true that luck wasn't on my side today cause the phone began to ring again. When I took it out again, it slipped from my hands due to the immense amount of sweat collected on them. I slowly bended a little to take the phone when suddenly I slipped and stumbled forward crashing down on to the bench in front of me.

I kept my head down not wanting to meet the eyes of the onlookers. I could hear various voices but out of all of them only one really struck to me.

"Kendork?" said James, his voice full of surprise.


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all I'm extremely sorry for taking this long to update. I can give thousands of excuses but it won't make up to what I did. So once again I'm so sorry. Secondly I'd like to thank WeirdbutUnique, BTRisawesome22, Dylan-Leon, 1234irrek for their support. :)**

**So read and tell me what you think. :)**

**Enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 2**

_Kendall's POV_

"Kendork?" said James, his voice full of surprise.

I slowly raised my head to see all the players looking at me, some with wide eyes. My panicking increased, if that was even possible. Right now I have two options. The first is to get out of here as soon as possible and run without looking back. The second is to face them and get that beating I'm so sure that James was planning to serve me with. The first option sounded so good but that was not me. I was never a coward. That was another reason I got into so much fights. And that was the reason I took in that news so well even surprising my parents. So I guess that leaves me with the second option.

I brought myself back on my feet and dusted off my clothes. I put my phone into the pocket of my trouser and hanged my backpack on my left shoulder. I climbed down the remaining stairs into the playing area and cleared my throat.

"Hey guys, that was a great match." I managed to keep myself from stuttering, feeling absolutely proud of myself.

"What are you doing here?" demanded James. He skated to the edge of the rink and the others followed him.

I remained silent. I needed a good reason, a better explanation for why I was here. I needed to think something fast and something believable too.

"Are you deaf or something?" This time it was one of his minions.

"He is here cause I asked him to come," said a voice from behind the crowd.

Everybody turned to look at the small Latino with a confused look and me with a questioning look. He looked at me and gave a small nod as if to say to play along. Carlos was a high spirited, good hearted person. The whole school adored him, although he hung out with those jerks. That was where he lost me. I never understood why he hung out with them, when he was nothing like them.

"Yeah, he asked me to come." I played along. I looked at Carlos and he gave me an encouraging smile.

"For what?" James growled. This time the question was directed towards Carlos.

"Recently my mother and his mother have become good friends. Mom gave me a package to give him for his mother," said Carlos coolly. Looks like he was a natural at this.

"You could have given it at school," said James. It was more of a statement than a question. Anyway Carlos answered him.

"I was meaning to, but I didn't get a hold of him as I was busy the whole day with that project."

"Then how did you told him to come?" Is he thinking he's in the FBI or something to question like this?

"I texted him," To be honest I was impressed. He lied smoothly.

James narrowed his eyes as if he didn't believe anything Carlos just said. He glanced back and forth at us for a few times before calling the rest of the players and sliding to the middle of the rink. After they went beyond the hearing distance, Carlos gave me a small jerk with his head as if to say to follow him and started to walk towards the lockers.

Although I followed him, my eyes were on James. He was looking at us like a hawk, like he didn't believe anything that happened.

Carlos stopped near his locker, opened it and took a small parcel out of it. I shot him a questioning look when he held it out for me.

He chuckled a little and said, "What I told out there wasn't a complete lie. My mom gave this. Give this to your mom. You are lucky that I couldn't give this to you at school."

"But you didn't ask me to come here," I deadpanned.

"Is that how you thank me?" He smirked.

"Thanks," I smiled. I took the parcel from him and shoved it into my backpack.

"It was nothing. James sometimes crosses the line. So don't mind it." _Sometimes?! Always!_

"I need your number. You know just in case." He took his phone from the locker and held it out to me. I took it and entered my number. When I returned it, he put it inside his locker and shut it.

"So I guess I'll see you around?"

"Sure," I smiled. It was true that we didn't have any classes together, but I can meet him during lunch and study hall.

"One more thing, make sure that your phone is on silent next time." He smirked again before disappearing into the ice. Next time? What was he talking about? Does he know?

I gasped and stared with my mouth hanging open at the Latino who was skating towards the other players. No. That's not possible. Of course he doesn't know. What was I thinking?

I shook my head a little as if to shake out those confusing thoughts and made my way to the door to go home.

_James' POV_

I stared at them as they made their way towards the lockers. I can't believe he was here, the only place I was at peace. Didn't he know that only the players can get access to the rink? But then again Carlos said he asked him to come. Although what he said made perfectly sense, he couldn't convince me. It was true that Carlos had been busy the whole day with that stupid project of his, he didn't even have time to hang out with me. But something fishy was going on here.

What confused me the most was that Carlos actually gave him a parcel. So that means he didn't lie. But how did he get his number to send him a text? They never hung out before. I don't think they even talked before today.

I glared at Kendall's back as he walked out of the rink. Carlos skated near me and whispered into my ear so as the others won't hear.

"Give the guy a break." I glared at him but his response was a wide grin. Typical Carlos. He was always cheerful. That was one of the reasons everyone loved him. He was too good to be true.

"That's it for today. You can go," I said and dismissed the team. I wasn't in a mood to practice anymore.

All, including Carlos, went to change. I skated towards the bench where my duffle bag was and sat down. I removed my skates and packed them into the bag. I took out my water bottle and emptied its contents into my mouth.

My head was still in what happened earlier. Something was not right. I need to find out what it was. Then an idea struck me. I tilted my head a little to look at the locker room. I didn't see Carlos anywhere. That meant he must be in the shower. I got up and went to his locker. I knew Carlos was hiding something. Until now we have never kept a secret from each other. So I knew his password. I opened his locker and fished out his mobile. I unlocked it too and searched his contacts for a certain blonde idiot. Surprisingly his number was there. Then I checked his inbox, but there wasn't a message like what Carlos said. Or at least any kind of a message to Kendork. I put his phone back and went to my earlier place at the bench cause there wasn't a free shower.

I needed a way to take revenge from that asshole. I never thought such a loser would have this much effect on me. He always brought out the worst in me.

_Kendall's POV_

I walked home from the rink thinking about random stuff. But what Carlos said kept popping into my head although I tried my best to not to think too much about it.

When I was at the door, I took out my key and opened it. Mom has given both me and Katie a key each so that if one of us gets home earlier we didn't have to wait till mom gets home. My key wasn't actually of any use cause I always came home after mom got home as I went to the rink after school.

Just as I opened the door, a pleasant smell filled my nostrils. My stomach growled as a response to it.

"Mom, I'm home," I called out climbing the stairs. I heard the TV in the living room, so that meant Katie was home too.

I walked to my bedroom and dropped the back pack on my bed. I carefully removed the bandage from my hand before throwing it in the trash. I stripped out of my clothes and went to the bathroom. I switched on the shower and placed myself under it. I was glad when the hot water hit my body. It meant Katie hadn't finished it all. Normally hot water did miracles to me. It had the power to take out all my tiredness and replace it with freshness. Stepping out of the shower, I dried myself and got into my pajama.

I went downstairs and peeked into the kitchen. Mom was still cooking so I went to join Katie. I sat next to her. She was watching some reruns of The Good Wife.

"How was your day?" I asked ruffling her hair. She slapped my hand away, only to have her eyes widened seconds later when I flinched. She took my hand and inspected it.

"What happened?" She demanded. She sounded so bossy sometimes and this was one of those times.

I didn't say anything. She knew too much about my private life and that was enough to last a lifetime.

Her eyes widened again as realization hit her.

"Oh my god! You finally hit James!" She's too bright for an eleven year old.

I nodded. Remembering that moment brought a smile to my lips. She tackled me and engulfed me in a bear hug saying, "I'm so proud of you big brother."

Mom cleared her throat to get our attention from the doorway before saying, "Dinner's ready." Mom knew enough to not to pry into our personal lives. That was one thing I loved about her.

We followed her to the kitchen and took our usual seats. We said our grace and started eating. Immediately mom's eyes went to my hand. She didn't question anything, but she let out a loud sigh and that was enough to pass the message.

Throughout the dinner we talked about each others' day. Mom told us about her meeting with Mrs. Garcia which apparently she forgot to tell us yesterday. When my turn came, I explained about my boring day, carefully leaving out the James incident and the fall in the rink.

It was Katie's turn to do the dishes. Normally we helped each other on our turns but today she shooed me away saying it wasn't good for my hand. So I went to my room and trashed the contents in my backpack on to the table thinking whether I had any homework. There were some sums and I managed to finish it quickly. I was never a bright student, so I kept the difficult ones to ask from Logan tomorrow. That reminded me that I didn't inform Logan about what happened at the rink. So I took my phone and texted him the whole incident only to get an 'I told you so' and an angry emoticon.

I brushed my teeth and was about to go to bed when mom appeared near the door with the first aid box in her hands. She came in and sat down on my bed gesturing me to sit next to her. I obeyed her. She applied some medicine and bandaged my hand just like Logan did.

"Good night honey," She said kissing my forehead.

"Wait," I got up from the bed and grabbed the parcel Carlos gave me from my desk. While giving it to mom I said, "Carlos gave this."

Her eyes brightened as she took it. "Thank you, honey."

"Good night mom." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she was out of the room before I knew it. So she was that excited to receive that parcel. I started to wonder what could be in it, but quickly shook my thoughts away as it wasn't any of my business.

I went to bed and sleep came faster than I thought it would.

Suddenly I was woken up. I felt uncomfortable which was what had woken me up. But I couldn't quite put my finger on what made me uncomfortable. I had sweated a lot. All my hair was sticking together. My palms were sweaty as well and even my pajama was soaked with sweat. What surprised me was why I was sweating this much considering tonight wasn't even a hot night.

I turned my head right to look at the alarm clock that was on the bedside table. It showed time as quarter past two in the morning. I sighed and was about to lie down again when the insides of my stomach turned and I felt my dinner coming up my throat. I rushed to the washroom banging the door open. I emptied the dinner into the commode. I sat on the floor next to the commode and took a few deep breaths to steady my breathing. I was about to get up when the urge of throwing up hit me again.

After throwing up a total of three times, I was so positive that there was nothing left in my stomach to let out. So I got up and went to the wash basin to rinse my mouth. I opened the tap and placed my hands under it to collect some water. I saw that I had collected not only water but some dark red liquid as well. I stared at it shocked when two dark red drops fell onto my hand. I quickly released the water I collected and grabbed the wash basin to steady myself which only resulted in more drops falling on to it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Here's the 3rd chapter! I was so busy with uni that I lost track of time! I'm sooo sorry for taking this loooong! I would like to thank WeirdButUnique, Lowgin-Hindursen,****jhansikirani17025****,Charlie-Rose94, ClowieElectra, jamesmaslowlover, No-Emotions-To-Cry and all the others who read my story! :)**

**So Enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 3**

_Kendall's POV_

I quickly released the water I collected and grabbed the wash basin to steady myself which only resulted in more drops falling on to it. I slowly raised my head to look at myself in the mirror. I froze unable to think what to do. Blood drops were flowing out from my nostrils, meeting my lips and then falling on to the wash basin.

Suddenly I heard something metal fall onto the ground near me, scaring the shit out of me. I turned my head towards the door to see Katie standing at the doorway. She was also frozen on the spot with her eyes opened wide and lips parted.

"Katie," I didn't know how the word left my lips.

Katie blinked twice before turning around and screaming, "Mom!"

I rushed to her and slapped my hand across her mouth moving the other to her hip to stop both of us stumbling to the ground. "Don't," I breathed. Last night mom looked so tired, so I didn't want her sleep to have any disturbances. This might be the first time that this is happening to me but I didn't want to bother mom. I was so positive that I could handle this. The burden I already caused her was enough.

Katie removed my hand from her mouth and whined, "But you are bleeding Kendall. A lot."

"I know," I breathed again nodding.

I washed under my nose. I grabbed a face towel and placed it under my nose, pressing it hard to stop the bleeding.

"Keeping some ice might help," Katie whispered not even sure of that herself.

I nodded and we both climbed down the stairs and went into the kitchen. I sat on the counter while she walked to the refrigerator. I watched how her hands shook as she grabbed an ice pack from the fridge. I don't blame her for that cause even I was scared like hell right now although I acted like it was nothing much. Even at eleven years of age Katie was a strong person, so it pained me so much to see her like this.

She handed over the ice pack to me and sat next to me on the counter. I replaced the face towel with the ice pack and put it in the trash can which was next to the counter. Her eyes were all over the place but not on me. She had folded her hands together but still I could see them shaking. I extended my free arm towards her grabbing her right hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Katie?"

"Hmmm," she said, now her eyes focusing on the ground.

"Look at me."

After hesitating for a few seconds she turned her head towards me. I saw that her nose was slowly turning red as she tried her best to keep herself from crying.

"Relax baby sister. It's nothing serious. I'm going to be alright." Words flowed out of my frozen lips. Although I said it to her, I felt that it was to reassure myself more than her.

She gulped hard and nodded, her eyes returning back to floor.

"Why did you wake up?" I voiced the question that was in my mind for a few minutes.

"Well I was playing this game that I got addicted to recently when I heard a door slamming. I thought it might be some kind of a thief. So I grabbed the first thing I found, which is by the way the metal lamp, and came to have a look."

I was surprised and proud at the same time. Any other teenager wouldn't have done what Katie did. They wouldn't have the courage to go look for a thief alone.

"I was the one who slammed the door," I explained.

"Yeah, I figured."

"I woke up to this uncomfortable feeling within me." I felt the urge to relate to her. "Then I wanted to throw up. That's where I slammed the door open and that's when I saw this." I gestured towards my nose.

She nodded a little before asking, "So did you throw up?"

"Yeah, three times." I made an attempt to act surprised but failed at it. She was surprised at first, but then went back to her depressed mood within seconds.

"You hungry?" She asked getting off the counter.

"Kind of," I said honestly. I still felt some weird feeling inside my stomach but I didn't know if it's hunger or not.

She opened the fridge and took some ingredients out. She made two sandwiches, one for me and one for her, and handed over mine. During the whole process none of us talked, not even a single word which was totally new to us cause whenever we were together we never shut our mouths. We could have a conversation about everything and nothing.

I took off the ice pack and found that it has stopped bleeding. I kept it aside and started on my sandwich. After eating we both went to bed deciding not to tell mom about what had happened. I went to my bedroom and stretched on my bed letting sleep take over me.

I was woken up from the sound of my mom screaming my name and shaking me vigorously. I slowly opened my eyes wiping sleep away to see my mom sitting down on my bed next to me with a panicked look on her face. Tears were streaming down her face and she was pursing her lips to stifle the sobs that were trying to escape through them.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked getting on to a sitting position. I was also starting to get panicked.

"How are you feeling?" She rushed through the words, her voice cracking in the middle.

"Nothing unfamiliar," I answered confused.

I saw Katie standing at the doorway. Unlike mom's, her face was filled with shock. Just like last night. Wait, last night! Then it struck me. I immediately lifted my hand and felt the area under my nose, above the upper lip. As suspected I felt some liquid on my fingers and I brought them in front of my eyes to see that they were red. I looked down to see a large red patch on my pillow and few smaller ones on my white tank top.

"Honey?" asked mom. After I nodded she continued, "Put something on. I already called a taxi." Surprisingly she sounded so calm and collected. I guess she was getting a hold of this.

I put on a clean denim and a T-shirt and went downstairs to wait for the taxi. When it came we drove straight to the hospital, me holding a paper towel to my nose the whole journey. On the way Katie told mom what happened in the early morning and her reply was just a nod. Not even a scolding glare.

Just as we entered the hospital I was taken into the emergency room. A few doctors and nurses surrounded me, attaching me to various equipment and machines. One of the doctors asked me a few questions like when did something like this last happened, what are the medicines that I'm currently taking etc. and when I opened my mouth to answer they told me not to talk. So I nodded my head Yeses and Nos to their questions. Then the next thing I knew was that I was blacking out.

_James' POV _

I've kept a look out everywhere since the morning but I didn't see him. Even remembering him made my blood to boil. He's going to pay for what he did. I thought about yesterday, slowly rubbing the corner of my lip with right hand. I wanted to see him break into pieces in front of me for what he did. Maybe he was a coward after all. Or else why would he stay at home today. A small triumphant smile crept into my lips. That meant he is actually scared of me. This made my work easier.

Suddenly I felt something soft press against my lips. I jerked my head to see Jo standing next to me smiling. "Thinking about me?"

"Of course," I returned her smile but flirtier than hers. I pulled her down on to the chair next to me before taking her face in my hands and pressing my lips to her's. I put more force than necessary. This felt good as it made me forget about that jackass. Then slowly the kiss started to get needy and sloppy and I pushed my right hand to her waist leaving my left hand on her face to keep her head in place.

"Gross guys!" I heard a gagging sound from Carlos. "I'm trying to eat here."

I pulled away rolling my eyes. "Happy now?"

"Much better," He smiled taking a mouth full of his hamburger.

"What are you doing tonight?" asked Jo twirling a strand of her blonde hair.

"Nothing special planned. Why what's up?"

"My parents are attending some conference tonight. Wanna come over?"

I looked at her. Her eyes were twinkling with mischief. Is she serious? It was true that we agreed to take it slow. But now looking at her, I felt that she needed to break that agreement. I slowly considered my options and finally decided that going to her house would be a thousand times better than going home.

"Sure babe." I winked at her, thinking that it might be what she needed.

Her lips lifted up and curled into a huge grin. "Then I'll see you later." She pecked my lips once more and left.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Carlos mumbled through his food filled mouth when Jo was out of sight.

"It's better than going home." I whispered so only he can hear. I watched as his face fell and he slightly nodded his head. Carlos was about to say something when we were interrupted.

"Guess who's gonna get laid tonight." said Dak, one of my teammates, to Jett, another one of my teammates, as he joined us at the table.

I rolled my eyes. Like it was a big deal. All of us in the hockey team can get laid pretty easily. There are a crowd of girls and a bunch of guys who would do anything to sleep with someone from the team.

Ignoring the stupid comments and laughter of my teammates, I let my eyes roam around the cafeteria to find him. But he wasn't here. I wondered what has happened to him for him to cut school.

_Fear_

My brain answered for me and I smiled getting a little lighthearted.

I noticed that Carlos was texting someone, which was weird because he always switch off his phone at lunch so that it won't disturb him on his favorite time of the day. I narrowed my eyes and focused them on to his screen to see who he was texting with, but before I could get a good look he put the phone into his pocket and cleared his throat.

"Guys, I'm going. I have some stuff left to finish in my project."

I looked at him disbelievingly as he made his way out of the cafeteria. Yesterday at the rink he told me he handed over the project. So what was this about? I stood up and walked out ignoring the calling of my teammates. At the door I saw Carlos walking towards the lockers and followed him.

He walked some distance and stopped in front of a locker that a short dark haired guy was leaning against. They fist bumped and started their conversation. I leaned closer so I could see who Carlos was talking to. When I saw him my mouth fell open.

_Logan _

_Why in the world is he talking to him? How do they even know each other?_

I leaned closer so I could hear what they were talking about.

"How did you know?" asked Carlos.

"Kendall told me."

Carlos smiled in reply.

"He was lucky you were there or else James would have beaten him to death." Logan said gratefully.

I scowled. He made it sound like I'm a murderer.

"Does he go there often?"

"Yeah, every day after school. He loves to see others play hockey." answered Logan.

I tuned out the rest of their conversation as a light bulb lit in my head. Carlos told me he had a partner for the project. So he must be Logan. Carlos has never met Kendall but he knows him cause of Logan. That was why he bailed him out yesterday. But none of this mattered as much as the last few words that came out of Logan's mouth. Kendall goes to rink every day after school.

I smiled evilly as I walked away formulating a revenge plan in my head. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! I have to tell you something important. This chapter is where the story properly begins. So this chapter is the most important out of all.**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to ****Lowgin-Hindursen and ****jhansikirani17025**** for their support! :D**

**So enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 4**

_Kendall's POV_

I opened my eyes slowly, everything before me was blurred. I blinked a few times to clear the blur. When it was clearing I saw Logan sitting on a chair nearby, his head nodding off with sleep. The room was dimly lit, might be to make it easier for me when I open my eyes.

"Logan" I croaked.

He jerked awake due to my sound.

"Oh hey, you are awake." He said slightly smiling, rubbing sleep away from his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

I nodded my head to say I'm fine scanning the room for others.

"Where are mom and Katie?" I asked, my voice still not sounding too good. But he understood.

"I sent them home. They looked so tired."

I nodded again and tried to sit straight. Surprisingly it wasn't much of a trouble. When I sat up, Logan came and sat next to me on the bed. I wanted to ask how he knew I was here but I knew Katie would have told him no matter what happens to me.

"Did Katie go to school?" I asked one other thing that bothered me.

"No," He replied looking at his hands and fidgeting them.

A wave of pain shot through me and I collapsed to the headboard of the bed, running a hand through my face. She missed too much of school because of me. Every time I end up sick she stays home to nurse me. She's a bright student and her hopes are big. She's going to have a bright future but at this rate I doubt it a lot. These were the times that I wanted this to finish soon, so I wouldn't be a burden to their lives. I let out a deep sigh and focused my attention on the window that was closed with curtains.

"They said you can go home when you wake up. Jennifer told me to bring you home so they can clean up your room a bit."

"What else did the doctor say?"

"They cut you about a month." He sighed before continuing. "They also said there's gonna be more severe nosebleeds and you need to be prepared for them."

I nodded feeling the tension a bit. I wanted to distract him.

"Thanks for informing Carlos." I said the first thing that came into my mind.

He smiled a little. "It was nothing. We were talking about random stuff and you came into the topic. So I mentioned it."

I smiled in response.

"I don't want you going to the rink again. Considering that James knows, he might do something."

"Come on dude! He doesn't know I'm going there every day. He thinks it's just one time." I smiled reassuringly.

"It's no use of telling you Kendall. You are too stubborn."

"But you still love me." I smirked.

He rolled his eyes, a smile breaking out on his face. "C'mon. Let's go home."

_James' POV _

I laid face up in my bed after practice thinking about the conversation between Logan and Carlos. I was glad that I followed Carlos. If Kendork goes there after school every day, that meant he would be there tomorrow as well. That's my chance. I was going to take my sweet revenge. I had already prepared my plan but I needed help and there was a small problem. Carlos and his too goody heart.

I felt something vibrate next to me. It was my phone and I looked at it to see that Carlos was calling me. I knew something was wrong cause Carlos never called me unless it was something important. I slid my finger above the phone screen and held it to my ear.

"What's up dude?"

"Got a call from Aunt Carol saying Gran is sick. So we are visiting her tomorrow." Carlos sounded so down. He loves his grandmother a lot. When he was a kid he grew up with her for some time. So they were kind of inseparable.

"How sick is she?"

"I don't know man. I hope it's not something serious."

"Yeah me too. So that means you aren't coming to school tomorrow?"

"No. I don't think I can even make it for practice."

I couldn't help but smile when he answered. My one and only problem had just gone away. All by itself, too.

"It's ok, Los. I hope she'd get well soon."

"Thanks. Catch ya later."

"Later"

I hung up. I was about to keep the phone away when I saw a text from Jo. Shit! She asked me to come over. I opened the text and she was asking whether I wasn't coming. Without replying I got off the bed, grabbed my coat, wallet and keys and ran out of the house. I got in the car and drove to her house which was not far away from school. It was a twenty minute drive. So I was hoping that she won't be that mad. I got out of the car and rang the doorbell. Jo opened the door with a smile and asked me to come in.

I looked around the house and I have to be honest that it was incredible. It wasn't too girly as I was expecting it to be. I stripped out of my coat and hung it on the rack. I placed my left hand on her waist and cupped her face with the right hand as I pressed my lips to her. She threw her arms around my neck as she started kissing me back. I moved my right hand also to her hip and let my fingers dance with the hem of her tank top. I moved it up caressing her exposed skin when she slapped my hand away. I pulled back and gave her a questioning look.

"When I said I wanted to take things slow, I meant it James." Her tone was serious.

I was confused. "Then why did you ask me to come over when your parents are not around?"

She rolled her eyes. "How big of a pervert can you be? I asked you to come so we can have some time alone."

"Oh" I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. She could have told me earlier. At least when I winked at her. I looked at her sending her a questioning look again when she laughed.

"Aww honey, you look like a tomato." She squealed pinching my cheeks. I slapped her hand away with a scoff. I turned around and made my way to living room and sat on the couch.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"Anything other than what you thought." She smirked laughing.

I glared at her. Her laugh faded as she took out some movies.

"How about a movie?"

I nodded and she handed me some DVDs. "Pick something you like. I'll go get some popcorn."

She left for the kitchen and I looked through the DVDs when my eye caught a hockey movie. My mind flew to what I had been planning earlier. Everything was going smoothly. All I need is to get help from Dak and Jett. Then it will be the end of that asshole. I was smiling like a teenage girl in love. I only realized it when I heard Jo's laugh next to me.

"Who are you thinking about?" she smirked.

"Kendall," My eyes widened at the slip and I pursed my lips together to prevent any more slips. Her smile faltered at the mention of his name.

"Why?" she asked. Her tone was more serious and she was directly looking at me.

"Nothing," My head fell as I started to look through the DVDs again.

"James," She took my hand and squeezed it. "I don't know what you are planning to do to him. But I want you to stop it."

I turned to her. Her eyes were dead serious which scared me a bit. "Jo it's nothing."

"Leave him alone James." She looked like she's going to hit me with anything she can grab right now.

"Leave him alone?" I scoffed. "After what he did to me?"

"You deserved it." She said like it was nothing big.

"What? What are you saying Jo? Have you lost your mind?" I shouted, standing up. She also stood up with me.

"You always bullied him. You should have seen that coming. Everybody else did. Besides he didn't deserve all the shit you gave him."

"Why are you defending him? Are you his girlfriend or mine?"

"Of course I'm _your_ girlfriend. The whole school knows that. But this isn't about that. This is about what is right and what is wrong. And what you are doing is wrong." She took a deep breath to calm herself.

"You are not my mother to tell me what is wrong and what is right."

"As your so called mother is not around to teach you good manners, I thought at least I should do it." She gasped and closed her mouth with her hand as she realized what she had just said.

I stared at her feeling my chest tighten little by little as memories gushed to my mind. I gulped hard before stomping out of the house grabbing my jacket on the way. I roared the car engine into life and drove away. I couldn't believe she just said that. I trusted her with all that information and I never imagined she would hurt me with them. I felt my vision getting blurred. So I moved the car to a side and took a few deep breaths to keep the tears from falling out. After some time, clearing my mind and pushing Jo to the back of it I resumed my driving.

As I stepped onto the porch of my house I heard a shrill noise from inside. I sighed. This was going to be a long night. I opened the door and stepped inside the house. When I walked through the living room, I heard someone calling my name. The voice was high pitched and drunk. I turned to see my mother, Brooke Diamond, one of the biggest role models in this country, standing with a glass in one hand and the other hand wrapped around the shoulders of a man. The man was trying hard to steady her. My eyes drifted to the man and scanned him from head to toe. He looked handsome and young. Maybe even younger than mom. I stared at them. This wasn't something new to me. This had been happening since I was a kid and now I was immune to it.

"Honey, this is Sam." She said pointing to the man besides her.

"Actually I'm Stan. Nice to meet you." He said as he held out his hand to me. He was perfectly sober.

I shook his hand. "James. I'll be upstairs if you need anything." He nodded giving me a sympathetic look.

I raced to my room and slammed the door behind me. To say I was mad was an understatement. I was furious. I wanted to hit someone so bad. So I grabbed the first thing I could find and threw it across the room. It was the flower vase that the maid kept for decoration. I didn't mind cause mom can buy another one tomorrow and tomorrow wasn't the first time she would be doing that. I trashed a few other stuff too and didn't bother to check what they were. Finally, I sighed and fell into my bed. I covered my ears with my pillow to muffle the sounds that came from the master bedroom downstairs. I needed a distraction. I was thinking about my revenge plan when sleep engulfed me.

I was getting my books out of the locker when someone slapped hard on my back. I looked over my shoulder to see Dak and Jett.

"Hey man. Where's Los?" asked Dak.

"He's visiting his Gran."

"How was last night?" smirked Jett.

All I wanted was someone to remind me about last night. Today morning I didn't went to her house to pick her up and when I passed her in the hallway I didn't even look at her. I didn't answer any of her calls or texts. I knew what she told me was true but she didn't have to throw it in my face.

"Listen. I need your help." I said ignoring his question.

"Yeah sure. Anything for you man."

I smiled and told them what was on my mind. They gladly agreed to it. At that moment the bell rang and we went our separate ways hoping to discuss further during the lunch.

_Kendall's POV _

The day was a blur. Nothing special or interesting happened and I just went with the flow. What surprised me was James shut his bloody mouth during lunch and kept his distance. Might be he has learned his lesson or he was planning something dreadful. As it says it is always calm before a storm. Thinking about it made my insides turn.

When the last bell rang I jumped to my feet and fled to my locker. Logan was already there with Camille. I shoved my books into the locker and said my goodbyes. Logan gave me a disapproving look to which I replied with a pleading one. He sighed and nodded dragging Camille away with him.

I walked out of the school and into the rink. I was kind of happy cause I missed this yesterday. I crept into the building and walked to my usual hiding place crouching behind the benches when I heard laughter. I peered over a bench to see what was going on when I saw James and his minions looking at me laughing. I straightened myself cause they have obviously seen me so there was no point in hiding.

"Hello Kendork. We were waiting for you." sneered James, walking up to me as his minions laughed.

He grabbed my collar from one hand and gestured with the other to his lip where there was a scar.

"Can you remember causing this?" He asked through gritted teeth.

I remained silent thinking that was the wisest thing to do right now. He dragged me near the rink and I tried escape from his grip but I couldn't. I had to admit that he was strong and due to the immense amount of blood I lost yesterday, I was comparatively weaker. He threw me into the middle of the rink and I fell, slamming my back against the ice. I gasped as a sudden chill went through me. When I tried to get up I felt a skate on my stomach. I looked up to see James and his minions, all with hockey sticks surround me. I knew what was going to happen and now it was too late to avoid this. If anything this will do me good. This would make what was going to happen in months to speed up. I took a deep breath and was bracing myself for what was about to come. But when a hockey stick slammed onto my side, a cry escaped me. A few other hockey sticks followed it and I opened my mouth to make breathing easier. I felt some liquid flow down my face but I wasn't sure whether that was blood or tears. All the areas of my body started to ache as one after the other hockey sticks slammed in to me. But the most unbearable one was the hit to my head. With a yelp my hands went to cover my head only to feel some hot liquid run through my fingers. Slowly everything started to blur and their laughs echoed in my ears. The last thing I heard was someone screaming my name as the blackness swallowed me.


End file.
